Learning to communicate effectively means that you first must first learn how to be assertive. The other options of communicating are passiveness or aggressiveness – both of which tend to alienate those you’re trying to communicate with.
When you learn to communicate effectively by flexing your assertive muscles, you’ll experience a boost of self-esteem and a personal confidence which will help you succeed in all areas of your life.
You’ll learn to be less resentful or feel inadequate or guilty about your decisions and will experience more freedom in your life. But, most of all – the way you communicate will improve your relationships, both at work and at home.
Assertiveness means that you’re able to express your thoughts and feelings without anger and in an appropriate and honest way. You’ll be standing up for your rights as a thinking and valuable individual and others won’t be confused about your beliefs and opinions.
Some techniques you should learn to become a more effective communicator are:
- Broken Record. This technique that you persist in expressing what you want and how you feel without bringing anger and resentment into your tone of voice. The trick is to remain calm and express your wants very clearly. Then, keep repeating your point and don’t give up unless you decide to agree to a compromise.
- Fogging. A technique which involves not responding in an anticipated manner (defensive or placating). The method is one which gives a minimal response within a conversation – rather than being argumentative. When you’re not expressing the desired effect with the person, he or she will tire of the conversation.
- Handling Positive and Negative Comments. You may have trouble responding to compliments – or to respond to negative comments about you or something you’ve done. For positive comments, you should express your assertiveness by thanking the person and to negative criticism, you should express regret that the person feels that way and then ask what, in particular, do they have a problem with.
As you continue to practice your assertiveness with others, you’ll find that your skills of communication will increase, and you’ll have less problems dealing with people.
You may find methods of your own which work – like not engaging a person in arguments or being able to walk away from a bullying situation calmly and without being angry.
Developing interpersonal skills is a self-confidence booster which can help you with day to day communication with those who are close to you and those you may need to deal with on a one-time basis.
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